Hero

As I’ve matured (I will soon be reaching the grand-old age of 28! Woo!! But, I’ll be working on my birthday! Boo!!), I have turned into quite the book worm! I’ve read many on a book on spirituality, self-development and confidence such as ‘The Chimp Paradox’ by Professor Steve Peter’s, ‘Confidence’ by Rob Yeung and ‘The Art of Happiness: A Handbook For Living’ by HH Dalai Lama and Howard C. Cutler.

I have learnt a great deal from these books, and I personally recommend reading all of them, but be aware, if your reasoning for reading such books is to develop and progress on a personal level, then you will be unlikely to achieve this just by reading the books alone, you must diligently apply this knowledge. In my own case, some of the lessons I’ve learnt have not been long-lasting, due to my lack of discipline in physically applying these lessons to my own life. The HH Dalai Lama states “happiness is not something readymade. It comes from your own actions”. Thus, you must actively ‘work’ at being happy. That could mean you limiting the time that you spend listening to music with negative messages, getting away from negative people who slyly put you down regularly, or by being grateful of what you have instead of focusing on what you don’t have. Some of the happiest people I know practice gratitude subconsciously. For instance, the joy I’ve seen on loved one’s face’s after looking at a spotted banana (because they prefer how they taste when compared to a spotless banana), or when they eat a crunchy apple or when they see a blue sky, is akin to the expression of  a lottery winner! Pure ecstasy, excitement and happiness. I know this may sound a little ‘kerazy’, but I feel being able to express true gratitude for ‘every day’ pleasures, is one of the key’s to experiencing true happiness.

Anywhoo, I may have gone slightly off topic (I tend to do that a lot so get used to it ;) !). The point of this blog entry is to discuss and share what I have learnt from Rhonda Byrne’s book ‘Hero’. In essence, the book discusses how we as humans can realize our true potential, find our calling and then become ‘Heroes’ . The book includes testimonies from several different people who have excelled in the worlds of sport, business and media. Below includes quotes from the book as well as my interpretations of some of these quotes.

1.       How to Find Your Dream

 ‘Look at those moments where you’re feeling blissful, moments when time just flies by, when you really feel lit up, when you’re really inspired’. Mastin Kipp (creator of The Daily Love).

‘It’s important people take the time to identify what they love. If you don’t, you’re just a rudderless boat’. Layne Beachley (the most successful female surfer of all time).

‘One way of finding out a direction: take two pieces of paper. Write down on one piece of paper what you’re good at, and on the other piece what you’d like to be able to do with your life. And see if you can take these two pieces of paper and match things together’. Peter Burwash (former tennis player and current tennis coach).

‘The other way is go in the direction of the real entrepreneur which is asking: ‘‘What does the world need and what does the world want at this particular point in time?’’. Peter Burwash

Through some of my worst moments in my life, I found moments of clarity, and ultimately my ‘bliss’. I remember watching the documentary ‘Amy’, on the life of Amy Winehouse. She uniquely explained that her reason for writing (and singing) songs was her way of ‘making something good out of something shit’, the ‘shit’, being the trials and tribulations of her life. Even though I am by no means comparing her level of genius to my writing skills, I feel that I can relate. Writing was and is a catharsis and a ‘get out of my thoughts’ exercise for me, and through it I’ve found my ‘bliss’.

I’m not saying deliberately go through pain and bad experience to achieve ‘bliss’, but I feel that all experiences, including bad ones are temporary, thus positivity can eventually be born out of it.

Another way of finding out what your love, bliss or dream is to GET OUT THERE! Most of us have labels of what we are and what we are not, and images/perceptions of who we are and how we should act. Quite frankly a lot of these categories that we put ourselves in are complete bullsh*t, and can result in separatism (which is ridiculous as we are all connected!). We ‘shouldn’t live the same year 80 times over and call it life’ (Unknown (well to me anyway, please enlighten me!). I feel that you have do things that you haven’t done before, experience new places, new food, take dance classes, acting classes, writing classes or just partake in general ‘randomness’! Exposing yourself to new things will widen your horizon’s and give you a better understanding of your likes and dislikes.

2.       Visualizations

‘Every idea that I’ve ever had and everything I’ve ever done I first saw in my mind. People talk about visualization: that’s just a way of saying that you can see it in your mind. Ultimately you can’t have a dream without being able to see it. How are you going to manifest something that don’t see in your mind?’.  Laird Hamilton (world-renowned surfer).

A way in which you can visualize is by creating your own vision board (also known as a dream board).  Patti Dobrowolski, in her Ted Talk (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zESeeaFDVSw ) explains how you can ‘draw your dreams into reality’, by firstly drawing a picture on the left hand side of a piece of paper that depicts your ‘current state’. Secondly, drawing three separate arrows entitled ‘see it’, ‘believe it’ and ‘act on it’, followed by a picture on the far-right hand side which depicts your ‘desired new reality’. This is your ‘road map for change’. If you complete this exercise, it would be good practice to place the drawing somewhere in your room whereby you’ll see it easily when you wake up. This is so that your subconscious mind ‘can absorb the images and construct a program which is stimulated every time it is envisioned’ (YUSA, 2014). Celebrities such as Jim Carey have used visualization techniques to great effect. In an interview with Oprah (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPU5bjzLZX0), he explained that before the fame (when he was broke) he wrote a $10, 000,000 check to himself and placed it inside his wallet. Five years later he found out that he was going to make $10, 000,000 on the film ‘Dumb and Dumber’. Obviously, that’s not all he did to achieve his dream, (he was also quoted as saying ‘you can’t just visualize and eat a sandwich!’), but he does believe in the power of intention, believing that your thoughts can create your reality (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZBOjuyjHe4 ).

3.       Do Not Let Your Fears Stop You

‘The word courage comes from the French word Coeur, which means ‘’heart’’. When you go ahead and do something despite the fear you feel, courage arises from within your heart. This is how you acquire courage. It’s not the other way around, where you have to find the courage before you act. Courage comes from performing fearful acts! As you build courage you’ll find that things you once thought were scary don’t seem scary at all’. (Rhonda Byrne).

This quote speaks for itself and needs no interpretation. All I will say is that I have had fearful/scary experiences in writing and sharing this blog and in writing my book previously to this (please type in ‘The Noise by Ashley Samba’ into Amazon (all formats) if you would like to buy my book). This is purely because I have feared what people might think of me. Instead of limiting myself to please other people, or to fit in, I’m going to continue doing this because I enjoy it. So, ‘French Connection UK It!’. If people like what I write that’s great. If it’s not for them and they rip me for doing this then so-be-it!

4.       Determination

‘When you tried to walk as a baby, you fell down hundreds of times. When you first tried to feed yourself, you put food in your eye, on your cheek, and everywhere but in your mouth. Learning how to talk was a long journey full of mistakes, but you never once considered giving up. Determination is part of your nature. You have it within you, and you can find it again’. Rhonda Byrne

‘We were born perfect’ (KRS ONE). Simple, we had all the tools we needed for success (such as determination and love) as babies and then we got sidetracked by self-doubt, low self-esteem and insecurities, among others things. The world has ‘French Connection UK’d us’ and made us forget the true power that we possess. We have an obsession with perfectionism. We need to understand that life isn’t perfect, and that setbacks and failures (or more appropriately put ‘lessons’) are precursors to mastership.

5.       Positive self-talk/Subconscious Mind

‘The only reason you don’t believe in yourself is because you’ve inadvertently thought your way into not believing in yourself. Thinking a whole bunch of thoughts and accepting that they’re true form beliefs. You were born with belief in yourself, and so if you don’t believe in yourself today it just means that in your life you have accepted thoughts about yourself that other people put upon you, and you believed them to be true. And the only way you have maintained that lack of belief has been through your own continuing thoughts about yourself – your self-talk’. Rhonda Byrne

‘As you think thoughts that you can achieve your dream, you will change the program in your subconscious mind. Your subconscious mind is like a computer, and it has many different programs that you have loaded into it, either with your thoughts or by listening to and accepting other people’s thoughts about you. And you’ve been doing this throughout your life’. Rhonda Byrne

Negative self-talk is something I have struggled with for a long time (island time, long!). Instead of crucifying myself every time I do something wrong, or every time that something I’m doing doesn’t go to plan, I try to tell myself that these experiences are a chance to learn, a chance to better myself and to chance to build myself on the road to mastership. Even though I’m not always ‘Mr. Confident’, I feel that subconsciously, this change in perspective has allowed me to gain more confidence and self-belief in situations that I was previously fearful of.

6.       I can’t do much but I can do that

‘I can’t do much, but I can do that. If everybody on this planet would get that lesson – I can’t do much, but I can do that. I learned that you can help other people in small ways that are available to you right this second. If we all lived that way, you would see a shift in the thinking on the planet’. Liz Murray (famous for her path to Harvard from homelessness)

WE HAVE THE POWER! *Note to self and others*

Anyway. This is a non-exhaustive essay on what I’ve learned from the book ‘Hero’.  Let me know what you think!

Yours,

Ashley Samba.